You are the love of my life
My refuge, always by my side
Forever I will sing,and worship You my King
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Some people will always ask me how come I have such an intimate relationship with God. I've given much thoughts about it. And I guess the reason is because I do not have many close friends around me in my life, up till this date. Yeah, I have alot of friends. But I do not have many close friends. As I give more thoughts into this part, I've come to the conclusion that my close friends right now are countable with 3 fingers. That deserves a major wow isn't it ?
Am I sad that I have not many close friends ? Yea maybe a little. Because we humans always hope that there are people around you who can communicate and understand you. Even when you do not know how to communicate your thoughts. Well, I am a person who cannot really communicate my thoughts and emotions properly and accurately most of the time. And I do not feel that it is something to be ashamed of.
So, yeah, I do not have many close friends. Endangered species are the ones who can understand me totally. Almost really close to extinct. And I think that is the main thing that drove me to always talk to God. And coming to a deep revelation that He is the only one who knows me after all. Humans are still humans. They are not God.
Day after day, it becomes a habit, it becomes an instinct to straight away turn to God. Yeah, Of cos I still wish that there are humans who can understand me and know me and call me and talk to me just at the very moment when I needed them. But I'm totally okay if there are none I guess. I'm pretty alright with just Mr God and myself.
Not saying that that is the best policy, because it is not. You still need human friends okay. But I guess its about shifting your dependency fulcrum. From humans to God. I think for some of us, it is okay to be too much of either side. Because everyone of us is different. For myself, I know that if I were to depend on humans, I'll be over liant somehow. So I'd always made sure that my fulcrum is more tend towards God.
So Christine is very much a loner person ? Kind of. I like to have alone times in my life. In fact, I love it. But I'm definitely not anti social. I cannot live without having to mix around with people too.It is quite a crucial and big element in my life. Sounds confusing, contradicting isn't it ? Oh well, for you to figure me out, and for me to let you figure it out. Haha.
